So many things. But I don't deserve to wish, so
why the
hell should I even think about wishing. All I know it...
I
want to go back in time. In that moment when my
mom was
yelling. I wish I persuaded her and not the opposite. I
wonder what everything would be like now. Well, it
wouldn't
be everything, it would be nothing.
I wish I could act like who I really am. And not this
random kid. Wait, now that I think about it... Didn't
my
wish come true? That wish I've been wishing for, for
years?
And now I'm at my lowest? Suck it up and move on.
I got my
wish, time for someone else.
Hmm, maybe I'm a little higher than my lowest. So
blinded
by my selfishness I didn't notice... my wish came
true. What
a terrible person I am. Says a lot about ones
character, huh?
I don't feel like typing. I feel like crying. Fucking stop
this fake shit. But I don't deserve the tears. I should
just
fucking study and keep my grades up. Be some
apathetic loser
who sits in a corner. That sounds better than what I
have now.
I'm not happier outside of the internet. I just know
how to
fake it. Only she knows who I really am, and I love
her to
death for still accepting me. But right now, I feel like
.... ugh. Everything hurts, a friend of mine said. He
said
it just right.... everything emotionally hurts.
"We'veGottenToThePointWhereIShouldLeaveYouAlone,
ButWeBothKnowI'mNotThatStrong."
Received a text message today from a friend. I regret pushing
"read
now". I regret acting like I'm okay with everything when I just
want
to cry. But no time for wallowing in my own self pity, I have area
tomorrow. Happy thoughts. Let's Take This Field.
But for a minute... I want to just....sigh. I guess I saw it coming.
No, better yet, I feel like I shoved the knife into myself, future
just rubbed salt in the wound. I'm so pathetic. I'm not nearly as
smart. Not nearly as cute, let alone pretty. Sigh.
I guess it hurts to know that by me not even being considered a
friend anymore, both of them are happier. Me being that over
observant
one, as I was walking back from who know what the hell what, I
saw
them....and they looked so...perfect.
But, he's happy, and she's happy... or so they seem to be. And
no
matter how painful it may be, I really am happy too.
I'm tired of being so...alone. But I'm not even talking about that
way. Just lately... I feel so distant...even from myself. I avoid
myself. MY FUCKING SELF. I read books, listen to music, and
draw non
stop to keep from thinking, hearing,or seeing myself.
I get it, people don't like me. But what do they want me to do?
Become that stereotype? Suicide? I'm sorry, but I can't kill myself.
Also, something that made me cry today... a speech from one
of our
councilmen. He talked about bullying. He talked about he wanted
to
take his own life. How everything was just terrible. But, he didn't.
He's now very successful. And he was in an interview and he
talked
about because he made that one courageous statement, people
from every
where in the world talked about their experience and told him
how they
would now not take their life, as they had previously had
intentions
of doing. He save that many kids. It's...stunning.
As a
child in a small house, where the electricity was rare in those
towns, the house would become very hot; you can ’t go out to
play anything. I used to play marbles, cricket and football but you
could not go out; sit at home and suffocate because there was not
much to do and reading was not something which fascinated me
at that particular time. So my mother used to go around the
house and there would be a lot of things which would be broken,
whether it was the toaster, a fan or a radio and she would ask me,
“Can you fix it?” and I remember I use to always say yes, and the
reason I used to say yes is because it is not the fixing which
attracted me, but is the opening of those things and finding out
what is inside that attracted me. I do know that I think I spoiled 2
fans, 4 tube lights, 1 refrigerator and couple of toasters in trying to
be able to fix things and I got scolded every time I couldn ’t put
them back.
As I went into engineering and I learnt the art of learning through
unlearning and building through first opening I understood that
my experiences of making mistakes at home and getting scolded
for that, helped in the process of my thinking and helped me in
the process of my thinking differently. I wonder if what we are
trying to do today is right by asking people not to make mistakes,
by judging them on the mistakes they make. And is there a
miracle we will find in people if we allow them to make the
mistakes which we are most scared of.
I am not talking about making mistakes in operations
environment, or airport or a pilot making mistakes. I am talking
about young little kids or adults in colleges, asking them to
discover by breaking things open, asking them not to give instant
answers and just to try and help them to make mistakes so that
they don ’t come to instant conclusions and they take a little longer
time to discover. The beauty of discovery will only come through
experimentation and experimentation creates innovation. We have
seen that with what Gandhi has said, we have seen that with what
Einstein has said. Most discoveries and innovations are by accident
and how would accidents happen if we do not realize that there is
a miracle waiting to happen if we allow the mistakes. So the way I
look at life is take charge of your life and allow yourself to make
mistakes and allow others to make mistakes and miracles will
happen.
I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road
Yeah, It's been a ride...
I guess I had to go to that place to get to this one
Now some of you might still be in that place
If you're trying to get out, just follow me
I'll get you there
You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em
But you won't take this thing out these words before I say 'em
Cause ain't no way I'm let you stop me from causing mayhem
When I say 'em or do something I do it, I don't give a damn
What you think, I'm doing this for me, so fuck the world
Feed it beans, it's gassed up, if a thing's stopping me
I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony
No if ands or buts don't try to ask him why or how can he
From Infinite down to the last Relapse album he's still shit'n
Whether he's on salary, paid hourly
Until he bows out or he shit's his bowels out of him
Whichever comes first, for better or worse
He's married to the game, like a fuck you for christmas
His gift is a curse, forget the earth he's got the urge
To pull his dick from the dirt and fuck the universe
I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road
Ok quit playin' with the scissors and shit, and cut the crap
I shouldn't have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it's a rap
You said you was king, you lied through your teeth
For that fuck your feelings, instead of getting crowned you're getting capped
And to the fans, I'll never let you down again, I'm back
I promise to never go back on that promise, in fact
Let's be honest, that last Relapse CD was "ehhhh"
Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground
Relax, I ain't going back to that now
All I'm tryna say is get back, click-clack BLAOW
Cause I ain't playin' around
There's a game called circle and I don't know how
I'm way too up to back down
But I think I'm still tryna figure this crap out
Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't
This fucking black cloud still follow's me around
But it's time to exercise these demons
These motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now!
I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road
And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, Imma face my demons
I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now
it was my decision to get clean, I did it for me
Admittedly I probably did it subliminally for you
So I could come back a brand new me, you helped see me through
And don't even realise what you did, believe me you
I been through the ringer, but they can do little to the middle finger
I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of
My world, haters can make like bees with no stingers, and drop dead
No more beef flingers, no more drama from now on, I promise
To focus soley on handling my responsibility's as a father
So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof like my daughters and raise it
You couldn't lift a single shingle on it
Cause the way I feel, I'm strong enough to go to the club
Or the corner pub and lift the whole liquor counter up
Cause I'm raising the bar, I shoot for the moon
But I'm too busy gazing at stars, I feel amazing and
I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
if you feel that you've been down the same road
in everyone's life there is some one special either given by god or made by demself...
either to get hurt ed to to improve...
hmmm
some one said dat..
love happens just once n d rest of life is just a compromise
(i was also agreed with dat)....
but..
dat was just a stupid sentence written by a stupid person...i guess dat must be written by devdas...
i remember the very day wen i was talking with my idiot friend(actually i kept her name as idiot) n beside her a sweet girl was standing.. she was just listening what we(idiot n me) are talking, n after a while i came to know dat beside idiot ders idiot's friend..
so what i just grabbed the chance n told idiot dat i want to tlk to her friend..
she said ok...
as soon as started taking..i was blanked..
u must b asking y?
arey she was having sooo sweet voice(just like of 5yrs old gal)...
while talking with her i came to know dat she is still single...
n while we were having conversation wt each other she said Ahnn haan...(dats really a unique style which very people can do dat)
dat "Ahnn haan just killed me" n den i decided dat it will be so fun n exciting to flirt with such a cute gal
n i was having a hope dat if ill propose her shell say me yaa...
so i was eager to get her no.
so i simply asked her asked her dat can i get ur no..
she asked me y?
i said just aise hi thoda bahot flirt karna hai...
she replied me na bachoo not so soon...
n after trying ma level best she finally said ok fine ill give u ma no. but within 2-3 days...
den i said ok fine ill wait for u.. n she moved on by giving cell to idiot...
even she moved on but her sweet voice made home in ma ears...
they(her voice) were playing continously as background music...
i did flirting with a sweet girl(in fact she is)...
coz i was knowing dat i cant fall in love again as last time i was damn hurted & learned a lot from dat experience...
i guess dat day ws midnit of 22nd june after preparing myself i finally propsed her(dat too i propoed her by message coz i dnt wnted to hear NO from her)...n guess what i got the result as i ws expecting... she said yes to me....
so next morning i called upon her n proposed her again on phone(coz i ws knowing her ans is yes) n we had sweet conversation...
i was knowing from inside dat i cant fall in love again so lets enjoy life with just flirting..
but i think dat she was loving so truly dat i was unable to flirt with her further...
n so i decided to quite flirting n get serious.. n now im so serious dat i want her to be ma life partner..
she is so nice dat i loved her as i never did before.. n thanx to her for this...
shes indeed a very sweety, caring, too lazy, always supportive, lovable, humpty dumpty, lil sumo, my baby doc..
heres a video i dedicate to my doc..
hmmm... now no need of getting shocked after reading this title...
really it seems really diffrent or tacky...
but ya honestly spaking i got a second n last chance to start over new...
its a very long story.. but without taking ya precious time ill tell u in short.
from childhood i never ever felt in love except ma mother...
even if i felt in love with any girl it was not more than u can say mm 5-10 min
but a year ago...it happened which never had never happened b4...
i felt in love with ma kind of girl n this time i was damm serious.
we both were really a quit happy... n wanted to spend our rest of life with each other...
i loved her as no one loved to any one... so deeply..so widely... so high...dat even if i write a novel it would be too small...
we tooked promises with each other to never leave each other at any critical moment of of our life...
everything was going smoothly..until 25th june 2009...
dat day ma world went upside down.
dat day was our last of relation...
it broked away.. breaking ma heart into countless pieces...
dat was the very day from wen i stopped laughing/ smiling...
dat was the day from wen i stopped for ma studies....
dat day was the day wen she broked all ma promises...
dat was the i stopped loving n trusting to anyone in this world...
but i never left trying... i tried even i gott defeated..
i thought dat if some one loves some one so deeply so truly it comes back to u...
but after few months i realized dat it was completly futile to waste ma time m energy...
i was all alone..
as i lost all ma concentration over studies i was always lagging behind every student in ma class... d reason was only one.. dat i felt in love with a girl who never knew its meaning...
you can say dat i almost lost in ma life...
all ma dreams were drowning in the sea of ma sorrow n tears...
i lost ma self confidence to do anything in ma life....till i got a new friend of same name n city as of ma so called ex g.f.
as time passed i was overcoming with ma situation..
my burdens were healing up...
slowly a ray of hope had popped up n i went back to ma studies...
but again it was to late coz my exams were on some countable days n it was not possible to cover the entire portion of ma year i just those few days...
i was realizing dat im going in drop this year...
my dream of doing m.b.a in 2012 flied away..
so decided to take a sharp n too difficult road...
but no i was happy with ma decision...
so ma parents suggested me to do engg from aurangabad college so there was no use going in dat college as i went crossed during ma academic year because of some reasons....
but during ma dis journey i learnt a lot, which i dont think dat i wud have learnt i ma life so early...
i thanx to ma ex g.f. because of which i learnt everything because she was ma very mistake of ma life dat i ever did..loving her which she was not deserving..n as the saying goes on if u want to increase ur rate of success just double ur rate of failure...
my best friend(idiot,kunal,nikita) for constantly encouraging me....
n idiot is the one without her it was not possible for me to overcome from ma past... even the word thanks is just like a small stone infront of mount everest...
now i got ready to face any situation in ma life happyly n enthusiastically... to make n learn from new mistakes...
n thanks for reading ma blog.. seee u soon.
India is still a place with more talent and limited opportunities. Many brilliant students want to get an engineering degree, but seats are limited. The task of securing an admission is similar to climbing Everest, and that too with several climbers jostling to get there first. This situation is made worse as many students do not have full information on all the colleges, the courses, admission formalities and costs around our vast country.
When I was young(still im young....only 21), my knowledge of engineering colleges was limited to what I read in newspapers and where my cousins studied.
My aim here is not to overload you with information, or stress you out about how many colleges you need to keep track of. In fact, it is just the opposite. It is to tell you, there are a lot of colleges out there, and in each of those colleges there are a lot of seats, and all you need is just one seat. Focus, work hard and have faith - wonderful things will happen.
I want to end with this message. Life is tough, but that is what makes it fun. It isn't important whether you made it to 'the' particular college everyone wants to join. What matters is you gave it your all, sought the best guidance available to you and ultimately reach your maximum potential - or your own Everest in life. In that lifelong quest, I wish you the best of luck.
god why r u doing this with me
i promised that i wont fall in love with any1 else in my life...but no i felt....
i felt in love with my failurenesss.....
day by day im making more n more no. of mistakes....as if i dont care bout the world....help me plz take me out of this...
i usually use to hear that the more u loose the more u win.....conditions apply,u have to learn from all ur mistakes.....
im Robin Sharmas book,The Greatness Guide...he said, If u want to win just double ur rate of failure....
hahaha...
1 more f@#king day
today was the day which happened first in my life..
today i stood for mr.P.D.V.V.P which i never did it b4.
i was confident (dat its so simple to give ur intro and reply answers to each q's asked by judges) wen i was sitting in audience any watching others on the stage introducing themselves ...
i was wholly prepared to each q And my intro(what to say after what)....
but i was not knowing dat life gonna f@#k me so soon and greatly...coz wen my name was announced my brain became totally blank.. i forgot everything which i practiced wen i was sitting in audience..
wen i was giving my intro i was just wondering here and there and thinking what to say And what not..
after dat there was a topic selection
i got the q' WHAT ARE UR FIVE STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESS.....
so i took the mike and went back to my original position and said to judges that im not gonna tell my weaknesses (As we shou;d not let people know r weak pts , And we should not say negative on stage)
so the remaing part of the q' was what r ur 5 strenghts
And look at me i gave the ans for FROM WHERE DO I GET STRENGTH(really funny type,isn't it?)
after telling judges frm where do i get strength, 1 of them told me that q, is what r u strengths...after taking a pause i just said i don't have any strength except my creative mind....**** off...
after dat they asked me to sing...wow i just thought dat yaa this might be a time to show ur positive pts..... but what happened....sala pura besura garaha tha main...
last week i just went in a seminar of IT deppt. and was watching there seminar and just picking the pts that where do other make mistakes in a seminar.... after a 4hr seminar i was quite happy bcoz i have learned a lot from others mistakes.
today i realised dat instead of knowing everything where we do mistakes....
so today i learned a lesson that rather learning from others mistakes try to learn from you owm mistakes...
i hope from from today's experience i wont make same mistakes in my next seminar on 25th feb.2010.
some1 said very truely dat like disolves like
when i was searching new ideas for my upcoming ppt And project at national level, god helped me a lott.. dont know how but i came with some fantastic,excellent n helping friendz/peole who really supported me a lot. they gave me excellent ideas how to participate in ppts, what to and what not to do in ppts... some winning stratergies... i guess i wd have met them earlier....
one of them who helped me is mr.gaurav singh B.E IT, this dam personality really supported me a lot (which other people don't use to do usually..).Although we were from different branch, diff. years, n we were not knowing each other then also this guy helped me as if i'm his younger brother... nice yaar.mannaa padenga.
my other few frndz namely vineet ranjan, manpreet also guied me a lot regarding my ppt n projects...
Also last but not the least, my HOD sir of mechanical depp. MR.Deokhule sir helped me...
yaar i wd like to pray for also this cool Bandes(dudes)for their guidence....hope i will get this type of helping hands in future also....
Mechanical Engineering
Mechanical engineering is the second largest engineering discipline and one of the oldest. Mechanical engineers apply the principles of mechanics and energy to the design of machines and devices. Mechanical engineers are involved with the design of structures, operation and maintenance of mechanical systems. Mechanical engineers design automobiles, trucks, airplanes, and trains for transportation; tractors for food production; interplanetary space vehicles; copying machines, fax machines, staplers, and mechanical pencils used in the office; and lathes, milling machines, grinders, and drill presses used in the manufacture of goods. Mechanical engineers also design and operate power plants and are concerned with the economical combustion of fuels, the conversion of heat energy into mechanical energy, and the use of the mechanical energy to perform useful work.
The Mechanical Engineering provides a solid foundation for professional engineering practice, and further study in Mechanical Engineering or many other related fields. The major requirements develop the students' ability to apply scientific principles in the design and analysis of mechanical and energy conversion systems. Students are challenged with design problems in most of the major courses, which provide opportunities for developing creativity in solving real-world problems.
This is the largest and oldest branch of the engineering profession. It is concerned with the design, development, manufacture, operation and maintenance of many types of plants, machinery and mechanical products. New areas include Robotic inspection systems, Cyrogenic technology for material treatment, Laser material processing etc.
Course :
In addition to the basic engineering sciences, the programme in mechanical engineering lays emphasis on the analysis and synthesis involved in the design, manufacture and operation of prime movers, pumps, compressors, machine tools, mass production technique etc.
Design, operation & maintenance of machine & their components, mechanisms, machine tools, manufacturing systems & processes, components of terminal power system including internal combustion engine & turbo-machinery, solar energy, heat transfer, air-conditioning, refrigeration & industrial engineering including production, planning & control-both the fundamental & & applied aspects leading to these areas.
Scope exists in almost every industry including power plants of all types.
Educational Attainment:
Bachelor degree, Post graduation, Ph.D
Specialization:
In addition to the basic engineering sciences, the programme in mechanical engineering lays emphasis on the analysis and synthesis involved in the design, manufacture and operation of prime movers, pumps, compressors, machine tools, mass production technique etc.
Employment Opportunities Graduates of the curriculum will find employment opportunities in the diversified branches of the mechanical field. Mechanical engineers are employed in many types of manufacturing, fabrication, research and development, and service industries Railway Engineering. Aerospace, Automobile Industry, Power plants, Manufacturing Industries e.g. Materials, refined metals etc
Let us know your thoughts so we can all learn from each other.
Friends Come and Go
When I was in high school, I always imagined spending most of my life with the same people. Then when I realized I had to move to college, that all changed. Once again, I made some close college friends but left them all behind when I moved from the kota to Aurangabad.
Friends will always come and go in your life; even though I'm back in the Aurangabad now, all my friends are in university around the country and not exactly in meeting distance. It can be a hard thing to accept, but many of the friends you spend time with now, might not be around in the next few years.
Important Lesson: There are an abundance of amazing people out there for you to meet and build relationships with. If you don't have many friends, don't stress, there are literally billions of friendship possibilities.
You won't always get what you want in life: people are going to be late, people will let you down, items you want won't always be available.
Important Lesson: Don't look for happiness in material possessions and if things don't go your way, learn to accept them. Life's too short to stay miserable.
Many People Will Love You, but Many Will Not
Whether you are a celebrity, a charity worker or just a normal guy, there are going to be people that love you and what you do, but there's also going to be plenty people that don't like you. There are many possible reasons such as jealousy, similarities to them, or just not being someone's 'type'.
Important Lesson: Not everyone is always going to like you, and that's fine. If people want to spend time talking about you then that is their problem. You are perfect as you are. You shouldn't need everyone to like you to have some form of self-esteem.
Nobody Can Transform Your Life Like You Can
Wouldn't it be lovely if we didn't have to go up on stage, but we could just read a paragraph of a blog post and become a perfect public speaker? Or, wouldn't it be nice if our friends could do daring things, and we would benefit from them as well?
The support and help of others can only take you so far, you're going to have to do your own thing to make big changes in your life situation.
Important Lesson: Do things for yourself and learn to stand on your own two feet. People you rely on won't be around forever, and you don't want to have to use others as a crutch to get anywhere in life.
You Are Going to Fail
Whether it is exams, projects, companies, or even the odd pub quiz, there are times when you will fail to meet your goals.
As the saying goes - "Only those who are asleep make no mistakes".
Important Lesson: You can learn a lot from others, but it is your own failures that are going to teach you the most valuable lessons in life. Learn from your failures, embrace them, and use them to drive you on to success.
Rain Will Sometimes Cancel Play
On some occasions when you have your shorts on and you're ready for the beach, it's going to rain. Or, when you get to that first hole and you're ready to tee off - the clouds will open. Things aren't always going to go how you would like them to.
Important Lesson: Don't stress about the things that you can't control. Learn to live with things that happen. You can't change the past, but you can change how you react to things.
There May Be No Tomorrow
At least, not for you anyway. We never know what is around the corner, a car crash, a heart attack; heck...even the end of the world is possible. Let's face it, although we would all like to live till we are 70 years old, that's certainly not always the case. There will be one day that is our last.
Important Lesson: Make the most of each day. Make sure the people you care about actually know it, don't worry about little matters, just make sure you spend time doing the things you love.
Someone Else Will Always Have More
Whether it is money, partners, friends or even blog subscribers, there will always be areas where other people have more than you. That isn't to say you can't become abundant in whatever you want (i.e. someone always had more money than Warren Buffett until 2008 when he was noted to be the richest man in the world).
The wanting of more actually holds a very important lesson...
Important Lesson: Just because someone has 'more', that doesn't mean they are happy. Read the biography of any celebrity and they will tell you they enjoy their process of earning money, rather than what money can do to make them happy. In other words, focus on what you love, not what the thing you love can get you.
BONUS: Linking all the lessons here together is actually quite simple, and I can share the majority of what you need to know to enjoy life in a few simple bullet points:
Live life for the moment
Accept what is, even if things don't go your way
Happiness is here, right now if you stop resisting and start accepting
I hope you all enjoyed my slightly unique take on the topic of improving your life. I would love to hear some harsh (but necessary) truths in the comments below!
hiiii. to All of u And thnx for visiting my blog....
let me tell u somethng bout me..(hope u wont get bored)
Myself Anand Agrawal from Aurangabad city from Maharashtra.
im 20 yr old guy having a pleasant personality.
im studying in Padmashri Dr.Vithalrao Vikhe Patil. also know As (P.D.V.V.P) coe.A'nagar (u can find it in ur map when ur free)
im in second year.my branch is Mechanical (everything for me).
i love to think creative And talk something innovative with people who have a ray of hope dat yaa....we can change this world with our ideas.....
i have so many new And somewhat phadoo type of ideas screaming round my mind..trying to make them into reality......
i love to read books (motivational type) my fav. Authors are Robin Sharma,Napolian hill & Chetan bhagat.
i love to take participate in new cultural Activities.....like ppt's,working model projects...etc...
i usually use to spend my time with friends who are having a full of energy & potential
i love to study on recent trends And technolgy related to machines,engines..
i love to take risks in my life And i live my life at the edge....
And friends never worry in life,always say....AAll iz well..