I wish...

So many things. But I don't deserve to wish, so
why the
hell should I even think about wishing. All I know it...
I
want to go back in time. In that moment when my
mom was
yelling. I wish I persuaded her and not the opposite. I
wonder what everything would be like now. Well, it
wouldn't
be everything, it would be nothing.
I wish I could act like who I really am. And not this
random kid. Wait, now that I think about it... Didn't
my
wish come true? That wish I've been wishing for, for
years?
And now I'm at my lowest? Suck it up and move on.
I got my
wish, time for someone else.
Hmm, maybe I'm a little higher than my lowest. So
blinded
by my selfishness I didn't notice... my wish came
true. What
a terrible person I am. Says a lot about ones
character, huh?
I don't feel like typing. I feel like crying. Fucking stop
this fake shit. But I don't deserve the tears. I should
just
fucking study and keep my grades up. Be some
apathetic loser
who sits in a corner. That sounds better than what I
have now.
I'm not happier outside of the internet. I just know
how to
fake it. Only she knows who I really am, and I love
her to
death for still accepting me. But right now, I feel like
.... ugh. Everything hurts, a friend of mine said. He
said
it just right.... everything emotionally hurts.